Laksa

i wanted so badly to go online and get myself a prostitue. i want to have sex with a girl, to see what its like. my friends tell me to get a gf to and have sex with her. but no, im not that kind of guy. i respect girls who respest their bodies and i defnitely wouldnt fool around and play with their feelings. thats the good thing i suppose. i wanna marry my next girlfriend, i hope. i want to have a kid soon.

Rewind.

We met at his house. We didnt have sex. He touched me, thats it. What i liked about it was that he actually likes me. I wasnt interested, not at all. he paid me 150dollars. i still feel dirty even when i didnt have sex.

i have no idea my first blowjob would be from a guy. we did it in a toilet. i dont know. i didnt feel as nice as it was told. i regretted it right from the start. up till now. why? why did i do it?

i dont wanna meet anymore online people anymore.

He was ugly, had bad breath and... boring. We watched a movie together. I saw A on the way. A made me realised what i was doing. I felt like telling that guy that i wanted to go out with A and that i didnt like him at all. but, you know, im too nice to reject anyone. I was so afraid that A would suspect something. I felt sick, so sick. im not good at rejecting. i need to change. i didnt have to do anything at his house. he blew me, thats all. i just wanted to leave.

My first entry.

Hi everyone, this is my first post. Nearly eveything (names&places) would be faked to protect privacy. So, allow me to introduce myself alittle. Call me Zach, i like the name. I am 18 this year and i am an asian. I am about 179cm and weighs 56kg. I am relatively fair and have black hair.I am curious. I live a double life. On the outside, i look like any ordinary boy. but i have another secret life. i would go online and find random people for sex and sometimes, get money from them. I dont really know. Most of the times, its just lust. I would say, most of the times. I have a fetish, i only like goodlooking things, be it boys or girls or anything. I would NEVER like anything that doesnt look good. Maybe everyone's like that. So, i dont really have anything to say now so i guess i shall have to wait till tomorrow to start telling you about my life. take care.